Feedback on my peer’s outline Essay Example

After reading through James’ work, there are a few areas I have noted and would like to comment on to enable him move forward with his project. First, James successfully identifies a clear thesis that explains an argument about the topic on hunting he outlines. The author argues that hunting is beneficial and he goes ahead to state some of the benefits of hunting which I consider to be good effort. Secondly, the author used credible sources to support his thesis and the claims made in the outline. The author consistently cited his work by use of different and relevant journal articles, clearly indicating the author(s) and year of publication. Additionally, he recognized these sources by listing them down after the outline as works cited.

However, the author did not demonstrate an effective use of transitions and cohesive thought as he wrote the outline, which makes the points appear disconnected. Probably it is so because it is an outline but I would expect the author to use some transitions to improve the flow of information. Additionally, although the thesis itself is clear, the outline lacks an informed and logical counterargument of the presented points. The author should try to make the audience belief that he understands the topic very well by making some counterarguments.

Conclusively, the author did a good work in writing the outline. His thesis is clear and he used credible sources to support it and any claims made. This has really impressed me. What the author can do is to make the work flow by use of transitions. Generally, the work is well organized and interesting to read.